For most of my life, I have struggled with overthinking and overanalyzing. The people close to me know that I struggle with this, and if the topic of overthinking came up in a conversation with someone, I would say (with an air of lightheartedness) “Overthinking is what I do best.” I toted this quality around like a hidden talent. The intention behind saying this was to admit my weakness, but behind every statement, there is a belief. And it wasn’t until recently that the Lord showed me what I have been believing about myself for so long.
 
In a seemingly ordinary moment, it occurred to me that this line—this narrative—that I had been sharing about myself was not just what I was saying about me; it was what I was saying to me. Deep down, I believed that overthinking was what I did best.
 
In a moment of grace, the Lord revealed that this is not what He says about me. He does not say “Michelle, my favorite thing about you is the way you overthink.” This is not the voice of a loving Father who created me out of love, for love, and fashioned me intentionally without any mistakes. This was a moment of conversion for me, and it got me thinking about how our mental struggles influence our identities.
 
I heard a friend in Christ share this profound truth: we do not own our mental struggles. God does not distribute anxiety, depression, panic…fill in the blank. These are very real things that are a part of the human experience—yes—but they are not a part of our TRUE identity: beloved sons and daughters of God. When God sees us, He is not blinded by our seemingly blatant anxiety. He sees the anxiety, but His vision pierces deeper than that. Beyond all of the mental struggles, He. Sees. You. As you truly are. As He made you. A cherished creation made in His image. Because of this, we are not called to take ownership of our mental struggles. “My anxiety, my depression, my scrupulosity, my overthinking…” If we cling to our struggles, we inadvertently accept them as part of our identity.
 
If we cling to our struggles tightly, we leave no room for God to step in and free us from these afflictions. Jesus died on the cross so that we could be FREE. He does not want us to settle for anything less than that glorious freedom. We are not slaves to our struggles. When we acknowledge the struggle without claiming it, that gives us the space we need to see them as they are, to see ourselves as we are. In my case, when I started to see overthinking as something separate from me, I felt liberated. I made a decision to not define myself by the struggle. Ridding our struggles of their power over us leaves room for God’s power to reign in our hearts and minds.
 
Questions for reflection:
  What story have I been telling about and to myself?
  Does what I say to myself sound like what God says about me?
  What struggles have I been clinging to as part of my identity?
  Who am I without these struggles?